As a therapist in Mumbai, I’ve had countless conversations with clients about the strain relationships endure under modern stress. But over the years, one concept that’s quietly transformed the way I approach relationship work is this: savoring.
Savoring isn’t just about enjoying a good moment—it’s about stretching it out, mentally reliving it, and amplifying the joy it brings. It’s the simple act of noticing and appreciating what’s good—together. And science shows us it’s one of the most underrated yet powerful tools for deepening our emotional connections.
What Is Savoring?
Savoring is the practice of consciously attending to positive experiences. It’s not just about having them—but feeling them fully, and holding onto them emotionally. It can be as simple as enjoying a quiet coffee with your partner or laughing with your child at bedtime. When we savor, we build resilience and connection.
Here are three ways I’ve seen savoring significantly strengthen relationships in my therapy work:
1. Savoring Builds Emotional Intimacy
Whether you’re in couple counselling or simply trying to reconnect with a loved one, savoring shared moments helps you emotionally anchor to each other. Research suggests that couples who reminisce about happy experiences together tend to report higher satisfaction.
For example, recalling a funny memory during a walk, revisiting a special vacation, or talking about a kind gesture from the day are powerful bonding tools. As an individual therapist, I often encourage clients to create a “shared savoring” ritual—like ending the day by each sharing one beautiful moment.
Tip: When you talk about a joyful moment, slow it down. Describe the smells, the feelings, the atmosphere. It’s not just the memory that matters—it’s the way you relive it together.
2. It Shifts the Brain Toward Gratitude and Safety
When you savor positive experiences, your brain’s stress response can downregulate. Especially for those recovering from chronic post traumatic stress disorder symptoms or experiencing anxiety, this can feel revolutionary. It shifts attention away from what’s wrong and orients you toward what’s meaningful.
As a PTSD specialist, I’ve seen how simple savoring exercises reduce reactivity in relationships. Partners begin to see each other not as threats, but as sources of calm and comfort.
Savoring fosters emotional regulation—an essential skill in all close bonds. And whether you’re a parent working on child counseling, or in family therapy, this skill makes every relationship more peaceful.
3. Savoring Cultivates Long-Term Relationships Connection
It’s easy to assume big gestures matter most in relationships. But it’s the daily savoring of ordinary love that creates emotional security. Sharing a cup of chai, texting “I miss you,” or laughing over a silly reel—these are the real building blocks of trust.
I’ve guided many clients through premarital counseling services, and one of the tools I always include is a “Savoring Diary.” It’s a shared journal where both people write down one small moment they enjoyed together each day. It’s simple. But it works.
The same applies to parenting. In child counseling, I’ve helped families create “Joy Jars”—where every evening, each family member writes down one good moment from the day. These rituals give children and parents alike a sense of warmth, visibility, and belonging.
Real-Time Relevance: Why Savoring Matters Now More Than Ever
In India, where long work hours, academic pressure, and societal roles often drain us, emotional connection can fall by the wayside. Add in the rise of digital overload, and we risk becoming emotionally numb.
In fact, a 2023 study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that people who actively practiced savoring had lower cortisol levels, better emotional regulation, and stronger relationship satisfaction scores over six months.
In my practice, clients who engage in group therapy sessions in Mumbai have reported feeling more hopeful and grounded simply by learning to recognize and share what’s good in their lives.
The Science Is Clear: Savoring Works
And the best part? It doesn’t require therapy, money, or major changes. It requires presence. It requires intention. And a little bit of courage to let in joy—especially when the world feels overwhelming.
Whether you’re navigating a rough patch in your marriage or trying to be more emotionally available to your child, learning to savor is one of the most emotionally intelligent things you can do.
Suppose you’re looking for guidance on how to begin this journey. In that case, I offer relationship counselling in India, and work as a licensed psychologist in India across various areas including depression, ANXIETY, PTSD, and relationship dynamics. My work as a family therapist, child counselor, and Certified cognitive behavioral therapist has shown me time and again that emotional healing happens in small moments—moments we learn to truly savor.
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Ms. Tanu Choksi is a warm and friendly counselor and therapist in Mumbai, offering patient, non-judgmental, and rational solutions to personal problems.
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