Whenever individuals avoid romantic relationships or hesitate to commit, outsiders often label it as a fear of love. But as a practicing psychologist in India and an experienced therapist in Mumbai who works with clients worldwide in individual therapy and couple counselling Mumbai, I see a different reality. Most people are not fleeing love; they are just guarding against faulty love; the kind of love that is conditional, domineering or unsafe.
The given insight is especially applicable to Indian citizens, where the relations are complicated by the family expectations and traditional norms. In the following post I wish to explain why avoidance in you is not merely a matter of fear, but a matter of deep-learned wisdom acquired through experience and self-respect.
1. Walking on Eggshells: The Toll of Conditional Love
Once love mixes with control, manipulation, or criticism, it stops fostering growth and instead creates anxiety and self-doubt. I often see this pattern in relationship counseling cases in India and in family therapy work in Mumbai—when people give affection only for compliance or replace acceptance with judgment.
Many clients avoid these dynamics because they have felt the pain of not knowing what to say or how to act, fearing they might hurt someone. The moral of the story: true love must not pose a threat to your value, security or even freedom. Modern Indian relationships benefit greatly from therapy, especially premarital counseling and sessions with certified cognitive behavioral therapists in Mumbai, which help couples break free from these unhealthy cycles.
2. Knowing the Difference: Being Held vs. Being Controlled
And with time, and even our own continued disappointments, we come to realize that there is a very important distinction between a person who has us dear and one who has authority over us. True love gives support to the person; imperfect love puts restrictions, guilt or demands.
Much of my work as an individual therapist and PTSD specialist in Mumbai involves helping clients recognize those subtle red flags—because understanding these patterns is a form of self-protection, not avoidance. This is especially important for those who have experienced chronic post traumatic stress disorder symptoms or have received OCD treatment in India due to past relational harm.
3. Self-Protection is Wisdom, Not Weakness
Distance is not the cowardice of an ill love, it is wisdom. In the Indian society, there is the tendency to stigmatize those who do not engage in dysfunctional relationships, yet the emotional security is as crucial as the physical one. True love helps you stay free and flourishes your self-esteem, and fear or shame never works.
I encourage everyone—especially in group therapy sessions in Mumbai and anxiety management programs in Mumbai—to trust that instinct for self-protection. Trust, acceptance and emotional security are the foundation of healthy and long lasting partnerships. Seeking experienced marriage and family therapists in Mumbai or going online to find a psychologist consultation in India can help enforce these facts upon anyone who has to juggle complicated feelings.
Conclusion: Choosing Real Love Over Familiar Pain
When you have broken away relationships which did not seem right to you, understand you are not alone or too sensitive. Being a licensed psychologist in India, I want to remind each of my clients: safeguarding the emotional wellbeing is not a form of fear, it is a strength. It takes time and self awareness with the right support system to identify with love that elevates and not degrades you.
You need to be loved without any kind of doubt. And in case you are ready to heal or you need things to know, contact, you have assistance.
About Me: Tanu Choksi
Tanu Choksi is a talk therapist and experienced psychologist in India. My core work includes individual therapy, child therapy, couples therapy, family therapy, teen therapy, group therapy, depression therapy, premarital counseling, anxiety, and PTSD for clients across India and globally.
Connect with Me
- Instagram, Facebook & LinkedIn: @tanuchoksi—follow for insights on love, boundaries, and emotional healing.
- Practo Profile: Ms. Tanu Choksi is a warm and friendly counselor and therapist in Mumbai, offering patient, non-judgmental, and rational solutions to personal problems.
You are not afraid of love itself—you’ve simply developed the discernment to wait for real, respectful, and supportive love in your life.
